Pushing (back) the Limits

“We learn through running to take what the days gives us, what our body will allow us, and what our will can tolerate.” –John Bingham, Running writer

I have a problem. It is not the kind of problem that can be easily overcome, and it cannot be easily overcome because I kind of like having this problem. The problem is that I sometimes push myself too hard.

There’s only a few things that bring joy to my life. One of these in particular is running. Other daily activities that give me joy include rockclimbing, rollerblading, and swimming. Running, though, is my love. When I run I get the full sense that I embody all my limits, that I can do anything I want, and that each step I take expresses all my frustrations, joys, and fears. All I ever seem to need is the music in my ears and the spring in my step.

The sad news is that the spring in my step is gone. I was running quite a bit a few months ago, almost six miles every day of the week, and at as fast a speed as I could go. I pushed myself too much and suddenly one day, searing pain overtook my knee. I tried to exercise through it, like I do every single time I feel any pain, thinking eventually that it would go away (I advise now never to do this, ever). But it was there, and it made even walking for weeks afterward excruciating.

It was for this reason, among many others, that I suddenly realized that I have limits. The heartbreak of having to be away from running, the inability to have that outlet for the expression of my inner conflicts, loves and fears which are constantly being suppressed from having to sit down by a desk most of the time, is too much to bear and as such has been a devastating eye-opener. The realization that I cannot do everything that I want to do to the max all the time is, at the very worst, a deep realization of my humanity and its very realistic limits. The pain in my knee told no lie, gave me none of the illusions I’d been wallowing in while I ran and felt at the top of the world. And while I cannot wait for that moment when I’ll be able to hit the pavement at full speed once again, with my spirit in my sprint, I remind myself everyday to push the limits back however little, and to linger instead on the torment of not being it all, not having it all, not reaching the top. And doing so as a way of eventually reaching the top, of having that feeling of painful bliss yet again, and securing it ever more permanently.

Ever wonder why running is addictive, folks? Well there you have it. 🙂

When It’s Hard

You see these little fellas?

They’ve been haunting me for days. My friend was recently in Paris and posted a ton of pictures of the yummy stuff he has been eating in Pastry-Paradise capital of the world. The Laduree macarons stood out from everything else. I was in Paris just this past summer, and in an effort to cut costs I forewent most foodie pleasures. Paris is wildly expensive for the student backpacker budget I’m usually on. Yet a few days ago, when I saw these little ones, I immediately looked up a few locations I could try them around Toronto. Today I took a swift trip over at this patisserie in Yorkville called MoRoCo whose macarons are said to be on par with the Parisienne. At $2.50 a pop, MoRoCo’s macarons looked adorable and tasted absolutely delicious. I could hear symphonies while I was tasting the vanilla, my personal favourite (and guess what, I hate vanilla anything so this says a lot). But I’ll soon find out from my friends if they’re on par with those of Laduree. They must be close!

In the meantime, I’ve taken it upon myself to try to cook the macarons. Beware though: I have yet to find a single recipe that doesn’t proclaim how hard they are to make. Yet my recent obsession with cooking is telling me this curiosity shall not be easily quelled. A friend of mine even warned me that something as remote as atmospheric pressure can prove to be a strangely significant factor in making the perfect macarons!

The feat is intimidating indeed . But I’m positively determined, and the obstacle is only making the challenge all the more interesting, the possibility of a successful result even more exciting. I’m definitely not the only one that shares an obsession with trying everything people tell me is nearly impossible to do, but I’d say that this is one of my most favourite traits, and it certainly makes my life interesting, albeit a little hectic at times.

Care to try? 😀

Here’s a few recipes I’d recommend experimenting with:

David Lebovitz’s French Chocolate Macarons

Martha’s Parisian Macarons

Syrup and Tang’s Basic (yet Detailed) Macaron Recipe

Get to it, people!

Don’t forget to report back. 🙂

Facing Life’s Set-Backs 101

The past couple of days have not exactly been easy on my, now dwindling, ego. Although I always try to have a very positive outlook on life, sometimes getting the beat-down does indeed beat you down. Nonetheless, I refused to wallow in this unproductive state for longer than necessary, and reached out to a couple of friends for some advice. As a result, I was able to make a quaint little list of all the things that you can do to face set-backs in the most optimal way.

Here it goes:

1. Fake it ’til you make it: Put on the positive attitude even if it is not there.
2. Do not underestimate the power of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe something, chances are you will act in accordance with that belief and put in action a series of behaviours that will get you more of what you think of yourself. This is another, deeper spin on “Fake it ’til you make it”.
3. You are reaching out and taking action on your life. You are not just sitting back and doing nothing. And that is great! Chances are, something will come out of this effort. Look at it this way: either you get what you want, or you will at least derive some experience and meaning out of your actions. Either way, you grow, you are a different and a better person. That, in and of itself, is worth fighting for.
4. Maybe it was not meant to be. Maybe you’re not matched well enough with what you are trying to achieve. Maybe this is fate (or the person, department, employers who rejected you) telling you that there is something better for you out there. Figure this out. The sooner you do it, the better. You can minimize the time wasted on useless tasks/goals, and maximize the time spent on the goals that will actually get you where you need to be in life.
5. Big gulp: Maybe you did not put in your best effort. However this is not a negative thought: Think or, better yet, write down all of the things that you could do differently if you had a second chance. Do this even if you did well. Trust me, you can always do better.
6. If you have been feeling too stressed out lately, chances are that this is affecting the attitude that you portray to others, despite your best intentions. As a result, others may not respond according to your expectations. Take time to de-stress. Make time for yourself if this is possible. You do not necessarily need to “indulge” in anything (by spending money for example) in order to feel better. Sometimes, veggies and sleep, and a good dose of your-loved-ones can do the trick. Make these a priority.
7. Booze helps. Sometimes though, only sometimes. In moderation. 🙂
8. Do does icanhazcheezeburger.com. For cat lovers anyway.

*Conscientious Warning: This guide usually applies to easy set-backs. Not everything (such as structural inequities based on gender, race, class, bodily ability etc) can be fixed with positive thinking in a few simple steps. Sometimes, you’re entitled to be rightfully mad and to fight back. Find out, what you need to do. Share in the comments your advice.

Gratitude: Awesome Friends Edition

If you thought that this post would probably have something deep and meaningful to it, you’re wrong. It won’t . It’s just an excuse for me to rant about how awesome my friends are. So there: I have awesome friends!

I was running into a bit of trouble designing the banner for the site, and thought I’d hit up my friend Jeff Razon, an awesome graphic artist, for some advice. Instead, he offered to design the banner for me! And stayed up past his bedtime to do it! If that does not deserve some serious “Gratitude Edition”-type pondering, I don’t know what does.

So here goes the deep pondering I said I would not do:

If you are lucky enough to have people in your life who continuously bring you a sense of joy, fulfillment and well-being, then you should give those people as much love as you can. Otherwise, they are not going to know how truly amazing they are to you. Too often we make mental notes to say something nice to a really good friend, or to do or buy something really nice for them, and never actually end up doing these things. Just thinking nice thoughts about your friends is not enough; take time to show them instead. Do not take them for granted. In the end, without them you would not be who you are.

So, I love you, Jeff! And I love the rest of you, you know who you are.

Thanks for being there.

The Simple Secret to Getting Things Done

If you are drowning in things that need to get done, and are constantly feeling like you do not know where to start, there is a very simple lesson you can learn from people who are really organized:

The To-Do List.

Not too long ago, a friend of mine who runs her own small but successful business, shared with me her obsession of making endless to-do lists. Every morning she meditatively writes, on random slips of paper lying around her kitchen table, everything that she needs to do that day. Her obssession with to-do lists is what helped her develop her business to her liking, and is what continues to reduce her stress when she feels overwhelmed by business and life demands.

As someone who has tried to balance studying, working and running a magazine, I can safely say that I am a big fan of the to-do list. There really is no better way of getting things done.

Here’s a few reasons why:

• It gives you a sudden sense of empowerment: Writing everything down helps you notice that the overwhelming tasks of a moment ago, are no more than simple chores you can complete in an hour or two (or even less!).
• It helps you remember everything (yes, everything) that you need to do. Do not rely on your memory. Write it down. Your memory is more fallible than you think.
• It is the most efficient way of balancing out a busy schedule.
• It helps you visualize the course of your day, giving it structure and meaning.
• It helps you prioritize the things that need to be done now, over any distractions that may pop up during the day.
• It saves you money: you can cut transportation costs so that you do not have to make further trips if you forget an item or two. It can save you money on groceries and other items that you need, by getting them at cheaper locations rather than at convenience stores and more expensive stores, which is where people resort to shopping when they urgently need something.
• It saves you time: Writing out all of the things that you need to do helps you notice tasks that can be combined, to save you energy and time.

I could really go on. So go head, make a to-do list right now!

Let me know how it goes.

Eat Pray Love (Mindfully)

The movie based on the book “Eat Pray Love” is coming out soon. Its message appears to be quite exciting: a woman decides to leave everything in order to travel to foreign places and, in the end, discover who she truly is and what she really wants out of life. These types of narratives about women are missing in our society indeed. So why am I not exactly thrilled about this movie, both as a feminist and as a traveler?

I love traveling. I have traveled by myself to various continents, backpacking the whole way through. The experience was undoubtedly a learning experience which has surely shaped who I am. But what did it really teach me? Exactly who I was and what I wanted out of life?

Not at all.

I knew who I was before I decided to strap on my backpack and prance around the streets of foreign cities solo. I knew that what I wanted the most out of life was to learn about other people, about other cultures, and to open my eyes to the ways in which the world outside of the claustrophobic restrictions of my society, and its cultural tunnel-vision, functioned.

So what did traveling actually teach me?

• It taught me to trust in my own intelligence and common sense.
• It taught me to appreciate others.
• It taught me that the people of the so-called “Third World” are indeed human beings, and for the first time it allowed me to see them with the deepest sense of understanding of our shared and equal humanity.
• It taught me that our conceptions of dangerous foreign lands are an only fabrications formed by our ignorance towards all that is unknown. In reality, nothing is as dangerous and fearful as we conceive it to be. With enough exposure you can really adapt to anything and learn to appreciate everything.
• It taught me a lot of the mundane lessons that come with living an unusual lifestyle of waking up in a different city every other day and meeting new people practically every day. Being a traveler, without even blending in with the culture, can make you different because it is a different lived experience.

This is why I happen to find “Eat Pray Love” shallow and offensive. It constructs people living in the developing world as “backwards” and “exotic”, individuals whose only function is to provide spiritual guidance to a woman that has been messed up by too much modernity and thus too much civilization. Foreigners are depicted in prejudiced in orientalist ways, making the movie a bit hard to digest for a true traveler who knows how to Eat, Pray, and Love.

So eat well, pray to be a better person and love everyone. But when you travel, please consider yourself just as important as the people in whose country you are staying. After all, they have been as kind as to let you in with limited restrictions, if none at all. Imagine how hard it is for them to come to your country, and to have the privilege they allow you to have in experiencing their culture.

The Begginer’s Guide to Gratitude

Dear Grasshoppers,

Welcome to the Blog and I hope to meet you all quite soon.

While I am just beginning to sort things out, I happened to think that the first post should be rightfully dedicated to an exploration of why we should be grateful, and how this can in turn help us be happy.

We are so often displeased with our lives, our jobs, our accomplishments, our connections and our ownership of material goods, among a myriad of other things. Yet it is not too often that we take a step back from everything and analyze all the privileges that we have. Indeed, not everyone is privileged. But starting with the assumption that, as a reader to this blog, you are already a citizen of the First World or a developed nation, a person of some bodily ability, a person who is at least somewhat financially well-balanced, a person that has resources, and a person who has a voice, then you are somewhat privileged.

Imagine for a moment all of your privileges disappearing from your life. Is the thought not terrifying?

In reality what we have and what we value is fragile. We can lose everything in a moment. We often take things so deeply for granted because they are always there, and as humans we habituate to what is always there. Nonetheless, feeling gratitude can teach us to actively love and respect what we already have, and who we already are. Once you solidify your love and acceptance of yourself, you can then finally do something to make the most out of what you have and to take a positive step in the direction of improving your degree of happiness in life.

Here’s your exercise:

Figure out all the ways in which you are privileged. Spot in your environment examples of lack of privilege and compare this to your situation. Make a list of the things that you would be unhappy to lose, and whose loss would prevent you from getting the most out of life.

Once you accomplish this then we can move on to the next step. 🙂

Grateful to be here,

D